Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
