At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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