Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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