She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize