Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
