so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
