You can't motorboat a personality
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My liver just had a heart attack.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
