it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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