we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Two words: blizzard sex
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
