Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
