honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
