we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
