Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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