You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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