Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
