Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
