no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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