Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
as a side note pls kill me
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