You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
