Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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