i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
