She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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