Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
