we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
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You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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