Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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