I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
