Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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