: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
