Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
