with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
