So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
