Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
