Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
