Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
