I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
