I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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