There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
