i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
