Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize