also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
