Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
