can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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