I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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