quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize