Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
