This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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