He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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