also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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