at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
