chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize