You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
