He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
God, you're like boner-b-gone
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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