it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it hurts more in the daytime
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
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