I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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