please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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