So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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