someone get that fucking seahorse.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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