just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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