Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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