508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he thought i was a dude.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
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I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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