just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
