but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
