i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
