walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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