very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
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It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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