Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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