Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
