he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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