She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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