He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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